| Date: | 2006-01-23 14:13 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
-_-" finally some internet coverage... i've moved ppl... feel free to screw my posts at http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=necroplastic
hey hey... I'm still in china... bloody long ay. actually its been just 3 weeks and I cant stand it any longer... I need my milo.
| Date: | 2005-07-29 22:12 |
| Subject: | 3weeks ho! |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  cold |
Its nearly 3 weeks... hust a few more weeks and I'll be sent home again yay! Its kinda pathetic yes... but heck, who doesnt miss his own home. That and Marlissa... miss you mommy! Your baby misses you so much! hehe... Soon I'll be home again... I miss my couch.
| Date: | 2005-07-25 18:52 |
| Subject: | grrrr... |
| Security: | Public |
I had it up to my head with their bullshit crap and excuses... I was left to wait outside the guard house a few hours ago. Waited and waited for 1 bloody hour... Why? Cos I exchanged my I.C for 13 bloody contractor passes to let 11 people in... 13 for 11... nice number ay? Which meant that I had to wait for 11 people. I dont mind that initially... but then 1 hour later, I'm cursing and cursing and cursing away at that bloody bastard... the last one and only... who was holding the last pass... Guess what? Nobody turned up, I had to explain myself all over in english and mind you China has only a handful of english educated people... except for the office workers. Guess what? I'm not going to take anymore of their crap...
| Date: | 2005-07-23 23:04 |
| Subject: | yeah... |
| Security: | Public |
machines are doing good... total completion date is on the 27th. just a few more days to go and all thats left now is troubleshooting the damnn machines... 6 in total. *sigh* time to get ready for some headaches and cursing and stuff... get ready to get screwed.
| Date: | 2005-07-19 13:59 |
| Subject: | I'm alive? |
| Security: | Public |
woke up way too early, its only like 430 and the sun is already up in China. my bio clock got screwed ever since the 1st day I came here. but hey... the wierd thing is, only 3 hours of sleep yet the early sun creates an illusion that makes me think its already morning. hence... it kinda forces my brain to think that its time to get up... hence... I can stay up till like 4am and still feel fresh for work! yay! aint that cool... yeah it screwed your bio clock but it does wonders invisible to the naked eyes.
woke up, still giddy, runny nose, a little cold... other than that I'm fine. the miracles of a pill... or rather half a dozen of them... -_-" I wana go home... send me home pls... pretty pls? I miss my couch.
| Date: | 2005-07-19 07:56 |
| Subject: | sick |
| Security: | Public |
when ur sick... its not a big deal. a pop of a pill and some rest and u'll be ok in a few hours. but when ur really sick... heck, thats a different matter. I felt closer to death yesterday, had hallucinations, dreamt of many but stupid and wierd things, felt my soul pulled out of my body, so helpless yet noone really cared.
I dreamt of bloody lines and bones... dreamt I was in the middle of a deserted city. it looked as if a war had swept past, all the buildings were destroyed and only rubbles are left behind. fires broke out here and there and there I was, right in the middle of it searching for a way out. dreamt of bloody lines cascading from above, bones were dropping out of the skies... I dreamt of being married, had kids... and the girls was... hehe no other than her.
sick? pop a pill and u'll do fine... but when ur closer to death, heck. a lot of doors will open up to u. dare or not, its totally up to u.
| Date: | 2005-07-16 19:11 |
| Subject: | china ho! |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  depressed |
here i am in china... life's pretty good here... for me at least. I've found that china, being vastly overpopulated and growing up way too fast (in my opinion) is quite really a pretty decent country. I saw things, and experienced things... lots of things here. I saw poverty, experienced helplessness, saw death although I wasnt certain at first... I saw life. Life that was so different and amazingly opposite of my life in Singapore.
Things here are speeding up way to fast... china is growing up too soon for her people. Her land alone is suffering from overdeveloping. Not to mention poor maintanence... I'm not one who would come into somebody's country and talk bad about it. What I saw... actually melted my heart. The poverty stricken here are so bad... they had to beg on the streets... children younger than my youngest brother were out in the streets with broken bowls and cracked cups begging for a living. It saddens me so... for every child I gave money to came 5 or 6 others.
Their way of "work for your own living" although quite logical in a sense, it makes the poverty case much worse. I've seen people being left alone alongside of the road, left alone lying face down from hunger... hunger that finally stripped them bare of all their energy. She... was one of many. This pain in my heart never settled... for everytime I go out into town again, I'll be greeted by the same encounter... everytime. People told me not to think of it too much but how can I ignore that? How can I ignore that face... covered with dirt and hands begging for some money. -_-" even though I dont speak their langguage... I could see it from their eyes.
I dont hate it here... I dont hate the people... I just hate the circumstances they have to endure just to live on. china really opened up my eyes... or rather her people did. Makes me grateful for what I have now and in the future...
| Date: | 2005-07-16 15:36 |
| Subject: | haiz |
| Security: | Public |
bloody long ay... since my last update. i figured i didnt need to update anymore since i have no need for a pc anymore... heck i dont even know what im sayin... anyways, im in china now.. on an overseas trip sponsored by my work place. haiz...
| Date: | 2004-11-27 12:34 |
| Subject: | stupid month |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  giddy |
3 weeks i think and seems like all hell is breaking loose.. even though i'm getting to be officially released from the army, jobs and responsibilities are swamping in on me one by one. and i thought that we're supposed to be doing less work as the day comes.. oh well. the fasting month was no easier, now celebrating the 2nd week of Hari Raya (muslim celebrations after fasting for a month) nothing seems to get any better. i think my relationship with marlissa is getting kinda worse... seems that there is a totally new side of her that i've not seen before... oh heck.
Mistress, the nights grow cold,
and as time pass us by, it grows colder still.
Here we sit, by your bed so loyal,
waiting every night patiently for your return.
In the dark so lonely,
we hunger for your warmth.
The sweet seductions of blood and sin,
would keep us awake, waiting for eternity.
That leathery touch, and cold steel,
the sounds of shackles in the dark.
Embrace us Mistress, in your bussom's deep.
Hold us tight, in your scent we sleep.
That familiar feeling, our memories collide.
The warm touch of flesh so cold and alluring,
like babies we shall slip into slumber,
cuddled in your arms so dearly and loved.
Mistress, won't you come home?
These poor souls, you left behind so suddenly.
How long will you make us wait?
You torture us with each passing night.
Crack that whip you so fondly loved.
Make us smile again with your lashing,
deep in the confines of your bedroom,
a cobweb of ropes and chains.
Those blood red lips and blackened nails,
your leather boots and skin-tight corsets.
We'd shudder, sometimes squirming in excitement,
just at the thought of it, even for a moment.
Our leathered Misfit of the night,
the thirsty Witch, kinky, dark and unpure.
You drive the loneliness away from our sleep,
slaves to the whip and torturing.
Dark Mistress, come home tonight...
Your lust and sins, our every desire...
Here we wait right by your bedside...
Your loyal hounds to your every bidding...
| Date: | 2004-10-27 19:22 |
| Subject: | life's passing |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  ecstatic |
time is passing as it is... indefinately. and recently life has given me a chance. fell in love with a girl who's worlds apart from me yet she's accepted me as i am and my goth ways. we're so different yet so similar, though she often sees us as different i on the other hand see so much familiarity between us.
I missed her so much that: i rush from my camp, bus-hopped from 1 place to the other just to withdraw some cash just so i can take a cab to meet her across singapore. i waited for an hour walking around the area so she could spend some time with her friends and at last i saw her home. she looked absolutely lovely in her prom dress that night. while on the way home i gave her a gift, a dogtag that i bought a few days earlier. i tied a string around the end and covered it with camo cloth to make it look ugly but when she uncovered the cloth it wrote "Taufik loves Marlissa". that night i too gave her a small card.. and happily sent her home. reached camp at 130am for a 3hour sleep before waking up again for work. sacrificed my time, $30 cab fare(which i lent from a friend), my sleep and booked into camp 1 1/2hour late so that i could spend 1hour with her. she doesnt know it, but it was worth it all... cos i only got a chance to see her once a week and that week she was too clogged up with her tests.
sometimes i just look back and laugh... i fell for a girl who was so different yet so alike. had that chemistry.. ahahahaha... cant believe whats happening to this world. cos when a goth falls in love something is terribly terribly wrong somewhere... but i dont want it to end though... hehhe... i love you Marlissa. mmmmmuacks~!
2more months to go till my official release date... nah, i'm not captured or something. official releasing date from the military. wheeew~ finally... my 2years are finally up. had so much shit thrown at me when i was a greenie but now i'm throwing the shit back. ahahahah.. just 2more months of "good" behaviour and hard "work" and i'll be scott free as a civilian again. but that aint mean that i'm free yet... still need to find a job. haiz~ 2years and you figure that its all gona be easy.. now my lifetime of working as a civilian starts... slow and easy. ahahahah.. till death do i stop then.
Help me angel... I feel so lost and hurt inside. just when I found her... she told me her family was planning to migrate to australia, thats like so near yet so freaking far. she hasnt told me when though but i guess it could be near since she's just waiting for her final exams and she's homefree right after the results april next year. told me it would be fun for a change... since she and her sisters were never far apart from each other. i've been thinking angel... why does everyone that i love so much has to be so far away from me? i guess its fate... haha. i really dont know how to act around her anymore, be mature and just accept it or try to make her stay. angel, your kitty is lost.. he's afraid, afraid to loose her just like every other people he's lost since... this is one of the reason i've not dated at all and avoid women pyhsically... i'm just afraid to loose her once i've found her.
sarah i'm dying...
these hands grow cold.
from deep within me,
it rips me apart.
i've no reason,
no more a purpose.
for which i can live..
without regrets in my life.
slowly i sink,
into your darkness..
looking for an answer,
to end this mysery.
let down your sweet brown hair,
so as to carress me once again.
shadowing me from my doubts,
easing my pain and suffering.
your winter wings so cold,
yet keeps me warm in your company.
the warm hugs and tender kisses..
could never keep me sad for long.
sarah i'm dying..
deep within me i cry...
| Date: | 2004-09-18 12:41 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
whoooooooooooooooooooo.. sorrid day evryone..
| Date: | 2004-08-26 23:34 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
I Am A: Chaotic Neutral Human Fighter Ranger
Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral characters are unstable, and frequently insane. They believe in disorder first and foremost, and will thus strive for that disorder in everything they do. This means that they will do whatever seems 'fun' or 'novel' at any given time.
Race:
Humans are the 'average' race. They have the shortest life spans, and because of this, they tend to avoid the racial prejudices that other races are known for. They are also very curious and tend to live 'for the moment'.
Primary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.
Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.
Deity:
Tempus is the Chaotic Neutral god of war. He is also known as the Lord of Battle and the Foehammer. His followers believe in the glory and joy of battle, and are never far from it. They typically wear battered armor, and carry a variety of weapons, but do not use missile weapons. Tempus's symbol is a flaming sword.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)
i am falling for someone...
| Date: | 2004-06-01 22:28 |
| Subject: | JET SET RADIO! |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | crazy |
Love Shockers! You can't keep a boy/girl-friend for
crap! You're a bit hard on the outside because
of all your trouble, and find yourself a little
difficult to cope with sometimes. Your friends
are just like you, and the unheartbrokens find
you hard to understand. You like rougher music
and being fast-paced. Badass!
Which Jet Set Radio Gang Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
buaahahahahha.... me? not being to keep a lady around for long? maybe cos she's freaked out by my black nails and black rings around my eyes... ^_^ even so, there's still that special someone whom have been with me for so many years... aint I right? *nudges Sarah*
Sarah I love you,
you're the only one who can end this.
My one and only anchor in this world,
to keep me from drifting deeper into the abyss.
I can still hear her in my head.
She calls for me, her seductions unpure.
Singing into the night to no end,
her melody for the dead calls for me.
Fear grips me from behind so tightly it chokes,
but your touch would always evade it, releasing me.
Those eyes, so caring and warm,
could even comfort the most troubled souls.
Sarah, mine Angel of Light,
your black sillouhete wings,
and your gaze that pierces through,
brings life into my black days and white nights.
Help me Sarah, take me away from here.
Unwanted and thrown aside I wait.
Soon, hopefully you'll come,
or witness my rotting body turn to ahes.
Sarah I miss you...
Your black wings would keep me warm every night.
Your voice, calming and soothing, rocks me to sleep.
And that touch, makes me feel loved again.
Angel I love you...
and I know that you love me too...
My Angel of Light, I sleep tonight.
I wrote this poem a few nights ago and put it up on the web, at eliteskills.com. Lots of people loved it! *gulps* MORE KITTY SNACKS FOR ME!
| Date: | 2004-05-26 18:40 |
| Subject: | named games |
| Security: | Public |
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